Tuesday 25 October 2011

The Top Ten Songs That Make Teenagers Cringe

As I went into my teenagers cave a few months ago, she jumped out of bed, went straight to her Ipod, flicked through the music and put on Jedward singing 'Ghostbusters' as loud as she could through the speakers. I covered my ears and ran out. 






Over the weeks, she did this more and more. Every time she played 'Ghostbusters' by Jedward, my reaction would be the same. I'd cover my ears, moan about noise pollution, turn and run out of the room, forgetting why I had gone there in the first place. 





She only plays 'GHOSTBUSTERS' when I enter her bedroom/cave. The rest of the time she lays in her bed with a pillow on her head, listening to Britney Spears through her headphones. 






Then it occurred to me. My teenager has managed to train me, like one of Pavlov's Dog. Of course I don't salivate when I hear a bell, instead I cover my ears and run our of her room whenever I hear Jedward singing 'Ghostbusters'. 

The child is a GENIUS.



Inspired by her ability to train me, like a dog, I decided to see if I could do the same. Could I train her to leave a room when a certain type of song comes on?

After four weeks of experimentation, I have come up with the top ten songs that work. Songs guaranteed to clear a room of teenagers, to make them walk out, covering their ears. Of course these ten should not played all day long. That would be considered to be abusive behaviour and could cause serious psychological damage. Instead, save these songs for special occasions.

The ten songs listed here have been tried and tested on my own teenager and will come in very useful if you need to clear a bedroom, a car, or a kitchen in a hurry. Believe me they work.

The songs should be played as loud as possible and where appropriate, you should sing along. For maximum effect, dancing is a must.


DISCLAIMER: no small children or teenagers were hurt during this experiment





Songs That Will Make Teenagers Cringe
(listed here in reverse order):


10. "I've Never Been To Me", a one hit wonder by Charlene (tip, sing into a ladle)








9. "No Charge", Tammy Wynette. Sob into a super absorbent square of kitchen roll. She will think you're having a breakdown.









8. "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree" sung here by Roger Moore. Close you eyes, sway and sing along with 007. 










7. "I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester" by The Wurzels. Dance like a cider drinker in front of your teenager (Preferably wearing wellies and holding something agricultural). 









6. "What an Atmostphere" by Russ Abbot.  This is perfect for those days where you teenager has lost the power of speech. If you have had a day of teenage 'grunting' and eye rolling, put this on.  








5. "The World Is Like A Great Big Onion" By Marvin Gaye. Time for a bit of 'Music and Meaning'. Very handy if you are in the kitchen and have an onion to hand. You can peel the layers off in front of your teenager, illustrating the deep meaning hidden within these lyrics. 











4. "Save Your Love" Renee and Renata. Try and get your teenager to take the part of Renatta. If she refuses,  play both parts yourself, maybe use wigs to enhance your performance.










3. "I Will Always Love You" Dolly Parton. Best sung whilst wandering around the house, like Dolly does so beautifully here. Use a wooden spoon as a microphone and use it to point at your teenager during the chorus. 








2. "All Kinds Of Everything" By Dana. I tried this over breakfast this morning. All four children left the table before she had even got to the chorus. 







Here is the NUMBER ONE song. The song that above all else, will make your teenager cringe...........




1. "Loving You" by Minnie Ripperton. It may be the birds at the beginning or the screaming half way through. either way, a classic. (Warning: if played continuously on 'repeat', you may not see your teenager for days). 

























Tuesday 11 October 2011

Chocolate Muffin in a Mug








It was Sunday night, almost 9.30 and we needed cake, urgently. Something fresh, warm.....and chocolatey. I had wanted to try this one out for ages and so, during the 'X-Factor' commercial break, made this, the fastest chocolate muffin in the world. 


This is not joke, this 'Chocolate Muffin in a Mug' and  it took five minutes from start to scratch (even if I almost died when I collided with the fridge door at one point).  Ok, it may not look like your average muffin but who cares at 9.30 on a Sunday night? 


Delicious Chocolate Muffin in a mug and Gary Barlow on the telly, the perfect ending to a busy weekend. I may have to start the day with one every morning......enjoy!






Chocolate Muffin in a Mug


Serves one, takes 5 minutes (maybe 10 if your cupboards are in a mess)


4 tablespoons self raising flour
2 tablespoons sugar (brown nicest but white will do)
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
¼ teaspoon vanilla essence
1 tablespoon choc chips (grated dark chocolate will do)


1 large mug




1. Put flour, sugar, cocoa into the mug, and mix well with fork.


2. Beat together the egg, oil and milk, and vanilla essence and pour into dry mixture. Beat well with your fork, be sure to get all the flour up from the bottom (Don't be too energetic, wouldn't want your mug to crack....)


3. Pop your mug into the microwave and cook for 3 minutes on full power (keep an eye on it, watch it rise. Depending on your microwave, it may take less or more time)


4. When the muffin stops rising and it firm to touch, you know it is cooked.


5. Run a knife around the edge and tip out. Or, eat straight from the mug (allowing it to cool for a few minutes).


PS: Best serve with dollop of cream on top and Gary Barlow on the telly.







Sunday 9 October 2011

I've 99 Problems And the Rain Ain't One


In 2010, I celebrated my forty-first birthday, soggy fashion, at Oxygen with 75,000 other music fans.

Oxegen is Ireland’s biggest music festival and takes place every year at Punchestown racecourse. It has become one of the best festivals in Europe and happens to be down the road and fall on my birthday every year. I may not look like your average music festival fan, but underneath this sensible exterior is a techno-electro-rap-funkster waiting to get out.

Before setting off with I nipped into Dunnes to buy a raincoat. Of course, the more organised Oxegen fans had got there before me and the only one they had left in my size in a camouflage print, a deep mossy green and brown colour. It was made of thick plastic and featured a clip on hood. Along with a pair of old wellies, a small packet of baby wipes, a bag of chocolate covered peanuts and this ever-practical rock chick was ready to go.

My eighteen-year-old nephew was my festival buddy. We printed off the line up from the internet and circled with a highlighter pen the bands that we wanted to see. His must see act was a young lad called Jamie T. For me, it was Brooklyn rapper Jay-Z and Scottish DJ Calvin Harris.

All the big names were there this year: The Prodigy, Paolo Nutini, Fatboy Slim, Faithless, Eminem and The Black Eyed Peas. But with over a hundred and fifty bands playing, there were plenty of bands that we had never heard of, including ‘Fake Blood’, ‘Bipolar Empire’, ‘Bitches With Wolves’, ‘Frightened Rabbit’, ‘Readers Wives’, ‘God Is An Astronaut’, ‘Cashier No.9’ and ‘Ou Est Le Swimming Pool’ to name a few. I have no idea what kind of music they make, but with names like that they deserve a Grammy.

The rain poured down like never before. Friday night and the going was heavy. To get to the portaloo (aptly titled the ‘Bog Father’) was a good ten-minute walk in five inches of thick mud. A quicker option chosen by many young women was to squat down in the mud and pee randomly. For the men, peeing against any stationary object was the order of the day. I quickly learned to keep my arms moving at all times. In my camouflaged Dunnes mac, I could easily have been mistaken for a tree.




Fifty thousand people in front of the main stage and Jay-Z walked on. “WATS UP OXEGEN?” he shouted out. Fifty thousand people screamed and waved their arms about as he began his set. He told us to ‘BOUNCE’ which I dutifully did despite the fact that my wellingtons had suctioned themselves into the mud. He had us all making the peace sign and saluting Barrack Obama. Then TuPac and the Notorious B.I.G. With my clip on hood over my head and making the peace sign, I did my best to get into a ‘gangsta’ state of mind.

There was no sign of Jay-Z’s wife Beyonce, a shame as I am sure she’d have loved it. She could have had a go on the Big Wheel, or the Bungee Balls. Or perhaps she might have been interested in the Oxygen Bar around the corner from the Main Stage. There, sat around tanks of colourful bubbling liquid, were festivalgoers who for five Euros a time were inhaling pure oxygen. It came in apple, orange and cranberry flavour and, via a nasal clip, for five minutes ‘breathing time’ it was supposed to help you ’party all night’, ‘party harder’ and be a cure for hangovers.

Saturday night was even more exciting and even wetter. The man in the van selling ice creams had no customers, whilst the man in the van selling hot chocolate was close to selling out. Those fans that had gone for a spray tan were now looking very streaky and those fans in straw hats were beginning to compost. Many people were wearing black bin liners. Still, the mood was good, everyone was happy I headed off to see ‘Gossip’ play in the Heineken Green Sphere tent.

Gossip’s lead singer is Beth Ditto. With a black bob, black eyeliner and black skull t-shirt, she looked clean, fresh and dry. “Hands up those of you who are NOT camping”. I put my hand up, along with two others. “YOU ARE EITHER OLD OR SOBER” she shouted to cheers from the audience of soaking wet through campers. And of course, she was right. The music fired up and we splashed around in the lakes that had formed in front of the stage.

Next we headed over to see the Black Eyed Peas. Fergie came out wrapped head to toe in tin foil (or so it seemed from a hundred metres away). They soon got the party started and with a back drop of flames and fire, blasted out crowd-pleasing hits. I danced around manically. Of course moshing in heavy ground in a thick plastic rain mac has its advantages. It was like dancing in a mobile sauna. In the space of half an hour I had sweated off half a stone.

But the highlight was waiting for us in a big blue tent. It was Calvin Harris. “ARE YOU READY TO GO MENTAL?” he asked us. Of course we were. We were already mental after forty-eight hours in the rain and mud.  We went even more mental when he sung ‘It was Acceptable in the Eighties’. I danced in the laser beams with my eighteen-year-old nephew. Life doesn’t get much better than that.

There is a list somewhere of the top ten things to do in Kildare. Oxegen isn’t on it. I urge everyone to experience Oxegen once in a lifetime. We all need to go mental once in a while.

Saturday 8 October 2011

One man and his shed in Kildare Town

The Shed is fast becoming a local attraction in Kildare Town. It all came about because a friend’s husband unemployed husband decided to get creative in the garden. After months of debate, he made the point to his wife that the tired old garden shed could be emptied of its contents and made into something special. Rather than leave it rotting and bursting with rusty bikes, old toys, dilapidated fridges and broken tools (sound familiar?) he wanted to renovate it and turn it into something spectacular. 

After a few days of planning, work began. She didn’t see much of him for the first few weeks. Full days and nights were put in, and the sound of drilling, digging and bashing kept the two teenage girls amused as they went down with regular cups of tea. But Shed-Dad didn’t work alone. With a team of equally skilled friends, he had soon insulated, soundproofed, fireproofed, damp-proofed and dry-lined the beloved shed. He put in heating and lights and soon the blood, sweat and tears had paid off. The final task was the decorating and details, and then it was finished, taking just two months and five hundred Euros.

Friday night arrived and we got ready. “What are you wearing?” asked my husband. I had not given it one bit of thought having never been to a shed party in my life. “Thermals?” I offered. Our garden shed leaks like a sieve and has gaping holes where the local cats get in, so taking inspiration I went for practical and warm. He opted for jeans and a thick coat. It was winter and bitterly cold, and we could be there for a long time.

Arriving at the house, all was quiet. Typically when friends invite you round, you knock at the front door and wait to be welcomed into the front room. But this night was different. The house was in virtual darkness and, ignoring it altogether, we went up the side path with not a sound to be heard. We saw the shed at the end of the garden and approached in silence.

We knocked three times (not that there is a code but it felt appropriate). We were greeted by the sound of two bolts being unlocked and the door opened. Light and sound burst into the garden and our friends welcomed us in. My football obsessed husband stood in silence, awestruck, staring from floor to ceiling and back again. Manchester United shirts and memorabilia on every spare bit of wall. A sofa, two chairs and a low table in the middle. To the left, a well stocked bar (with optics on the wall behind), complete with a full fridge and kettle.

The bar itself was made from reclaimed timber and wouldn’t look out of place in Lillie’s Bordello. On the bar, a music system (surround sound of course) and a fully operational laptop with Internet connection. As if this wasn’t enough, to the right, Sky Sports (with sound off, showing a match) on a TV set in the corner. My husband sat down and took in the game as I took in the details around.
This was every sports obsessed man’s dream. A TV showing twenty-four hour sport, Beer, Darts, Football, a guitar and even a Bob Dylan poster. I don’t want to sound like an estate agent but it also features I Tunes on tap and commemorative beer bottles from around the world. What didn’t feature was children’s toys, frilly cushions, draped curtains or pot pourri.

Fifty years ago, the man of the house would have nipped down to the potting shed to read the paper, have a doze and perhaps, if he had the energy, pot up a tomato plant or two. Now this little gem of a hideaway proves that as far as the humble shed goes, there is plenty of life in the old dog yet. The potting shed had been made over to suit the twenty first century. The difference is that broadband has replaced broad beans and there’s not a whiff of compost.

We played cards and listened to music until the early hours. The only interruption was when I needed a toilet break. Fearing a freezing trip up to the house, I reached for my coat. I didn’t need it. There, discreetly in the corner, was a small but perfectly formed toilet cubicle complete with lock and wash hand basin. Could it get any better? Well yes actually. At midnight, a knock at the door and our hosts’ two daughters appeared with freshly prepared hot nibbles. Their mother had thoughtfully phoned them through the order to the house earlier.

It was very simply ‘SHEDTASTIC’. I am hoping that my husband will strive to do the same to ours. I have already begun to clear it out and maybe he’ll begin to get excited soon. A neighbour listened to me babbling on enthusiastically about it recently and gave her opinion. “It’s really a crèche for men isn’t it?” A crèche for men? Now there’s an idea for the next series of Dragons Den.



Digging the Duggars

I’m in a big hall in Newbridge, County Kildare, which is being used as a rehearsal space, sitting on a child’s chair, nestling beside some coat rails. One of my children is a choir and rehearsing with the Newbridge Brass Band for a twenty-five year celebratory concert in December. So there’s plenty of ‘Diddly Om Pop Poms’ and cheerful Christmas carols to keep me company me as I write.

Large groups of children have been on my mind all week. The first group make up the Duggar family. They live in Arkansas, in the United States. The head of the household is Jim Bob Duggar who is married to Michelle. Between them they have eighteen children. That’s right, E-I-G-H-T-E-E-N. All of them conceived naturally and all of them having names beginning with the letter ‘J’. They have just announced that they have another on the way making nineteen.  Neither of them looks insane and you’d be happy to sit next to them at the school Carol service.

I was so heartened by Bob and Michelle and their neatly dressed children that I sent them a chatty email. They sent one back immediately telling me “Dear Annie, Jesus wants to become your best friend, He loves you! He wants you to ask Him and get His advice about every major decision in your life. You will see your whole life changing. Jesus wants you to go back to people you have done things wrong to and ask for forgiveness for what you have done, telling them you have committed your life to Jesus and you now want to live for Him. You will still make mistakes in the future, but daily pray to God and He will lead you. Love Bob and Michelle”. Oh dear. Jesus is coming, look busy everyone. 

At least we now know why the children all have names beginning with ‘J’. And I guess that, with eighteen children in the house, you’d spend a lot of time on your knees praying just to get through the day. Imagine eighteen beds to make, eighteen lots of homework and the height of the laundry mountain.  Holy Moly. Michelle must need climbing boots and an abseil rope to get up and down it.

The other children on my mind have Nadia Suleman at the head of their household. Her family consists of a mere fourteen children. They were all conceived using IVF and are being raised (with an army of volunteers and paid nannies) by their single mother, otherwise known globally as “Octomum”.

Nadia Suleman looks like a worn out version of Angelina Joile.  Since giving birth she’s fallen out with her mother (who publically declared that her daughter was ‘unfit’ and ‘sick’). She has eight nine-month-old babies and six older children including one set of twins and a severely autistic little boy. It exhausts me just writing that down.

The numbers are mind-boggling. She spends a thousand dollars a week on food; another ten thousand a month on nannies. She uses over five hundred nappies a week and on average Octomum survives on three hours sleep a night. With such little rest, it is no wonder that she’s opted for Botox, lip and breast enhancement to help her out.

Her babies were born into the world of reality TV and she regularly shares with viewers like me that the film crews, interviewers and paparazzi are a burden. With everyone close to her also selling stories to the papers, you have to have some compassion for the woman. She puts no restrictions on what can be filmed whatsoever. A braver woman than me. When the documentary was shown on television last week, there were comparisons with every family I know, but on a much larger scale.

Children throwing tantrums, school uniforms gone missing and grocery shopping to be done. The noise levels were through the roof. Even the Newbridge Brass Band would have had difficulty being heard above the sound of eight babies waiting to be fed. Sitting the babies around a specially designed table with eight little chairs built into it, she got on with the task in hand with humour and order combined. Say what you will about her, but personally I think she deserves an octo-medal for her efforts (or maybe she'd prefer some washing powder vouchers).

Despite the daily chaos, Nadia makes time to go do those regular Mum things, like going bowling with her six older children. She may be running on empty, but at least she seems to understand that providing that they are regularly fed, watered, washed and get a good night’s sleep, children, our sons and daughters, are great fun. The people who organise the choir know it, so do the GAA coaches, teachers, the Scout and Girl Guide groups, the choir, the hockey clubs and even the Newbridge Brass band.


How does Octomum really continue to find the time to enjoy her brood? How does she keep up with the ten loads of washing a day and fourteen mouths to feed when the world’s media is watching her constantly? As she signs yet more TV deals we’ll all be watching this space. One thing is for sure, we could all do with having more fun at the moment and if we are lucky enough to have children, there’s really nothing stopping us. If Octomum can do it so can I.


So I have made a star chart for myself, after all the children have been plagued by them since the day they could talk. If I earn twenty stars a week, I will treat myself to a chocolate eclair. My challenge is to spend ten minutes a day with each of them. If I do, I get four stars. In our little boy’s case, no doubt I’ll be playing table football (and losing). In our youngest daughter’s case, I’ll be playing cards (and losing). As for our eleven year old, I’ll be watching her knit.

As for the teenager, it gets harder. Perhaps we’ll go to her room and talk about X-Factor and skincare. Perhaps we’ll flick through old Hello Magazines. Or perhaps discuss why, after six months, I still haven’t read ‘Twilight’. Whatever it is, I mustn’t ask her to tidy her room no matter how high the clutter and dust is. I’ll lose a star on my chart and boy, do I need that cream cake. 

Tuesday 4 October 2011

100 Things to do in Kildare before You Die


1
Go lambing with a Sheep Farmer.









Watch your local GAA team play (no matter what age the players...)







3
Climb the Round Tower in Kildare Town and admire the view from the top






4
Get the whole family together and get lost in the Kildare Maze, just outside Prosperous.








5
Have a picnic at Donnolly's Hollow, Athgarvan. Read about the magnificent Bare Knuckle Fighter, Dan Donnolly who fought here a hundred years ago in front of a crowd of 20,000.








6
Choose the coldest, wettest, most miserable day and go for a bowl of homemade soup and scone in An Tearman, Kilcullen. ('Tearman' is Irish for refuge or sanctuary). The cast iron stove will be lit and will be as warm as the welcome that you will receive. 








7
 This one is not one for the faint hearted. "Spend a night in the spookiest graveyard in Kildare, the little one on the backroad into Newbridge". A weird entry but selected by a local woman and local knowledge is what this project is all about....








8
Get up early for our next entry. At 7am, go to the Curragh Training Grounds, which is a hive of activity. "It is a beautiful way to spend the morning" according to our contributor.  You will see some of the best horses in Ireland training. "But" she warns,  "stay safe and do not go on or too close to the gallops".  









9
 Take a barge from Robertstown and take a trip along the Grand Canal. 










10
Visit the 100 year old Japanese Gardens at Tully. Follow the symbolic walk that takes you through the souls 20 stages of life journey, from oblivion to eternity. 







11
Enjoy a pint of Guinness at Mick Murphy's pub in Ballymore Eustace











12
Visit Father Moore's Well, Rathbride, and pray for a miracle like the pilgrims who have been coming here for over a hundred years.









13
Watch the St Patrick's Day Parade in Newbridge












14
Go to Kildare Village on a Saturday afternoon and try and find a parking space......










15
Start at the harbour at Naas and follow the canal walk to Sallins.  This canal walk is especially beautiful at Autumn









16
Donadea Forest, a 243 hectare of woodland, complete with the remains of a castle, an ice house, a walled garden and church. Word has it, this is the perfect place for a midnight ramble with friends.









17
Learn how to make a St Brigid's Cross 









18
Soak up the atmosphere at the Curragh Army Cemetery









19
Ssssh, this is one of Kildare's beautiful, peaceful places, it's Pollardstown Fen.  Go here and watch the sunset. 









20
Marvel at Ireland's largest collection of movie memorabilia at The Museum Of Style Icons, Newbridge.












21
Stand beneath the large stone horseshoe doorway of The Old Forge near Rathangan.  










22
Drive around the Ballymany roundabout (exit 12 of the M7 motorway) and admire the magnificent sculpture of Fionn MacCumhaill. 









23
Get your photo taken beside the second tallest high cross in Ireland at Moone. 








24
Let Cogitosus, a 7th century monk, take you on a journey through time at the Heritage Centre, Kildare Town









25
Abraham Shackleton founded The Quaker School, Ballitore in 1726. Go and admire the statue and home (now a Quaker museum) of diarist Mary Leadbeater.










26
Experience the art of turf cutting at the All Ireland Turf Cutting Festival which takes place annually at Ticknevin Bog, Carbury.







27

Cheer on the Easter Parade in Naas










28 
Fly a kite on the Curragh Plains. Is there a bigger sky in the world?








29
Killinthomas Woods, Near Rathangan
"Take the dog for a walk here in the Spring when the ground is covered in bluebells and wild garlic. Truly amazing"






30
Go for afternoon tea at the oldest golf course in Ireland, The Curragh Golf Club. "Get a spot by the window. You can see the Wicklow Mountains on a clear day, it's beautiful".






31
Listen for fairies at the Fairy Burrow, Lullymore









32
Watch the tractors go by at the Vintage Tractor Rally in Brannockstown (starting at 'The Stray Inn')







33
See Arkle's skeleton at the National Stud







34
Steam a 'Record' potato, serve with butter and pepper. Eat with 2 rashers and a glass of milk.







35
Go sledging down the hills of the Curragh Golf Course













36
Go to Lumville House during the week and watch Coronation Street on the big screen






37
Time for another pint. This time, at Bardon's Pub, Kilcullen Main Street







38
Climb to the top of Dunmurry and watch the sunset over the Kildare and the surrounding counties







39

Keep your eyes on the road and just briefly glance at the giant 
sculpture 'Perpetual Motion' by Rachel Joynt and Remco de Fouw. 







40
Appreciate the fine art outside Naas Fire Station: 'Siren' by Alex Pentek.






41
Listen to the Stephen Keogh County Music Show, Saturday night on Kildare FM.








42
Go to the Punchestown Festival and join 20,000 other race-goers, the highlight of Ireland's National Hunt season. 







43
Visit St Brigid's Well on the 1st February







44
Buy a sausage roll from Mary Kathryn's in Kildare Town.








45
See Christy Moore play in his hometown of Newbridge.








46
Reflect at the 9/11 memorial 






47
Take a car for a spin at Mondello, Ireland's only international racing circuit. 









48
Go to Monasterevin and head for the Celtic Cross in the town centre. A Father Prendergast was hanged here for his part in the 1798 Rising. 










49
Admire Kilkea Castle, a landmark in the county since the 11th century.








50
When it's cold and dark outside, put some turf on the fire. 










51
Go to Goffs in Kill, find yourself a seat and watch the auctioneer sell the finest bloodstock in Ireland.










52
Hidden away in the council office in Naas, stand in wonder at James McKenna's magnificent two and a half tonne sculpture, 'Oisin Caught in The Time Warp'












53
Borrow a canoe from one of the many clubs along the river and canoeing on the River Liffey









54
Head to Lexlip, to the 'Wonderful Barn', a built as part of the 'Famine Relief Scheme' to give employment to the local poor in 1743.









55
Discover Connolly's Folly near Celbridge. "Run backwards around it nine times and you will see the devil" according to our contributor.....!








56
It's as solid as a rock, touch the stone of the Leinster aqueduct near sallins.









57
Listen to Luka Bloom sing 'I'm A Bog Man'








58
Take a trip to Oughterard graveyard at Ardclough, and see where Kildare native and founder of the Guinness Brewery, Arthur Guinness in buried. 







59
Learn the lyrics to 'The Curragh Of Kildare' (click on Paul Brady's face to play...)










60
Go to the annual Kildare County Show.














61
Visit the only greyhound stadium in the county, in Newbridge and back a winner.








62
Drive to Millicent, near Clane and walk around the pretty church of St Michael and All Angels. 








63
It was originally built as a jail in 1796, go and see what is now the Town Hall in Naas.







64
Another round tower, this time, at Old Kilcullen. 









65
Climb the ancient volcanic Hill of Allen, stand at the tower and take in the scenery. Is there a finer view of South Kildare?








66
Pick mushrooms on the Curragh Plains (maybe best not to eat them until you're sure their not toadstools)









67
Take a trip to the magnificent K-Club, home to the Ryder Cup when it came to Ireland.








68
Take part in a table quiz.







69
Yum yum, try some boiled bacon and cabbage.






70
Take in a show at the Moat Theatre







71
On Christmas Eve, go to the 6.30pm mass at St Conleiths Church, Newbridge.







72
Pack your wellies, umbrella, wet wipes and tent and head to the biggest music festival in Ireland: Oxegen.








73
Start a sing along in Fletcher's Naas. Like Ronnie Wood, you'll be told to be quiet. 








74
Follow the signs and complete the same course as the participants of the 1903 Gordon Bennett Race.  You'll pass through picturesque towns and villages of counties Kildare, (and neighbouring Carlow and Laois).










75
Visit Castletown House in Celbridge, Ireland's largest Palladian Mansion










76
Get your toes tapping every July at the Athy Bluegrass Festival which attracts  top acts from home and abroad.











77
Every Sunday from September to April, follow the unique North Kildare Farmers' Hunt as they jump ditches and hedges (they have no hounds and don't actually 'hunt' anything).  The day ends in a pub with an auction for a local charity.








78 
Take a walk along the The Barrow Line canal walk from Monasterevin to Rathangan.









79
Named after the 6th century Saint, St Brigid's Cathederal, Kildare. It's been around since 1223. Staggering in scale and beauty. 











80
Batty Langley Cottage, built in 1747, the facade of Castletown House Lodge. 









81
Smell the wild garlic in Moore Abbey Woods, Monasterevin.











82
Feed the swans in the pond, Naas. 








83
Go gliding at Punchestown, home to the Dublin Gliding Club.









84
Buy a sausage from Nolan's Butchers.






85
Sit on the luxurious Volvo S80 leather drivers seats in the auditorium at the Kilcullen Town Hall theatre.  Local man Pat Dunlea managed to twist Volvo’s arm to donate them to Kilcullen’s newly refurbished Town Hall Theatre in 2000.












86


THE BROWNE MAUSOLEUM AT MAINHAM
This mausoleum near Clane was built by Stephen Browne in 1743 and can be found just a couple of feet outside the graveyard at Mainham. Browne wanted to build it in or adjoining the church nearby but fought with the Protestant Rector of Clane, the Rev. John Daniel who wanted to charge Browne 5 Guineas for the privilege of doing so. Browne refused to pay the money and built the mausoleum on his own land just several feet outside the graveyard wall. The stone slab over the entrance on the outside tells the story.











87
 Head to Bradburys in Athy and choose the biggest, creamiest cake.









88
All aboard? Take a trip to the Steam Museum and walled gardens in Straffan.










89
Watch a sheep shearing demonstration at the Suncroft Harvest Festival.











90
After a race meeting at the Curragh, join the jockeys and stable lads and head to Cunninghams in Kildare Town.









91
Visit the newest museum in the county, The Military Museum at the Curragh Camp. Learn about the place where the Jacobite army trained in 1686-7 and the British trained men to fight in the Boer War and the trenches of the Somme.











92
Walk along the beautiful Liffey Linear Park Newbridge.











93
Visit the garden and arboretum at Coolcarrigan,  a hidden oasis on the edge of the Bog of Allen.









94
Take a look at the gorgeous Celbridge Abbey, built by Bartholomew Van Homrigh, Lord Mayor of Dublin, in 1697. 








95
Hear some of the best live music around at the DewDrop Inn, Kill. 








                                       96

Get lost in the Millenium Maze, at Ballinafagh Farm, Prosperous. 











97
Hang out with the students at the National University of Ireland, Maynooth.









98
Tune in to Kildare Fm at 8am, 10am, 1pm and 6pm for the death notices.







99
Be part of the Irish Pewter revival and visit the Pewter Mill at Timolin.









100
Go to the Irish Derby at the Curragh Racecourse. 

Thanks goes to all the people who suggested this as the one thing that you must do in Kildare before you die. 

Dress up in your finery for the Derby, put on the cheapest placepot you can get, use what's left to buy a glass of bubbly and you'll feel a million euros.....
















It is finished. Thank you everyone. 
Kildare. 
What a great county. 

Annie
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