I'M EVERY WOMAN, it's all in me...

Hooray! It's the international day of love. I write this at 6am. Not because I am sitting by the front door waiting for a dozen red roses to arrive, but because I am about to go upstairs and clean vomit splats from all along the hallway. My seven year old boy was sick all night and I know that when daylight comes, I'll have at least two hours of intense carpet cleaning ahead of me.

It may be Valentine's Day but the kids are off school for the week and life just doesn't grind to a halt on the 14th February. But as a tribute to the soul star who died this week, and to inject a bit of 'luuurve' into the day, I have compiled the top five 'Whitney Houston Songs to Get Household Jobs Done By'. I have put down exactly what I shall be doing for each song but obviously, adapt each song to suit whatever housework you have to face this morning. Pump up the volume and feel free to join me in my tribute to the legend who has been a constant companion in aerobics classes for women around the world for the last 20 years. 

I'M EVERY WOMAN 

This is the tune I shall be listening to very shortly, on my Ipod (mustn't wake whole house), as I tackle the vomity soaked carpet. With mop, bucket, disinfectant, rubber gloves and air freshener, this track has the energy to keep me going as I tackle every mother's worse nightmare. Yuk, Yuk, treble yuk....

IT'S NOT RIGHT BUT IT'S OK

At number 2, It's Not Right But It's OK. This could have been written for the inside of my fridge, which some might call 'A disgrace'. The song is methodical, calm and repetitive, just what's required for dreaded household chore number two this morning.  After the carpet, I have to throw out the stale milk, yogurts, leftovers and clean out the compost heap (otherwise known as the vegetable drawer in my fridge). Surely there is no better day to feel the love for my refrigerator.

SO EMOTIONAL

This will be playing very loudly as I enter my teenagers cave and attempt to get her to sort out her bathroom later this morning. This week she has been experimenting with every Irish teenagers 'must have', fake tan (in orange). This has to stop. She may become a fake tan junkie.  I don't even know who her supplier is. She came out of her room last night glowing a mucky yellowy red colour. This wouldn't bother me one bit if she took up ballroom dancing. Instead she listens to Jedward all day in her tracksuit. We've not even seen the sun in Ireland for 6 months....HELP!

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

 Our rabbit died last week and now, I am faced with the horrible, horrible task of phoning up the vet and getting the results of the post-mortem. As I do so, this shall play in the background. It sums up perfectly, the way I feel. Like poor Whitney's family, I only hope that she died suddenly and without pain. Unlike Whitney's family, I was at least there to feed her a last nibble of apple shortly before she passed. RIP 'Pickles' - we will always love you. 

I'M YOUR BABY TONIGHT

Yes, we are going out, we've an Early Bird meal booked in the Brown Bear in a village nearby called Two Mile House. I shall put this song on and first sweep, then mop the entire house before we leave. I may even attempt that thing that cleaning obsessives do and mop my way out of the house, leaving the mop at the door just before I lock it. I can pick it up when we get home and mop my way from the front door to the bedroom. Who says that art of romance is dead?

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!